Thursday, December 13, 2012

Hope for the best (and for some batteries)!

As I've discussed before, we aren't expecting to have any contact with Artichoke and Zucchini now that they have been reunified with their family. While we hoped this would be different, we aren't surprised that this is how things turned out. First, the boys were only at our home for 5 months, leaving us very little time to form a meaningful relationship with their parents. Second, we had no meetings with the specific purpose of shared parenting, which is part of the county's plan for every case. Although, when is that plan actually followed?  Please excuse my sarcasm. And finally, the social workers didn't do the best job at facilitating this relationship- at all.

Since the boys' case is still open, we were told before the boys left that we could send Christmas presents to them through the social work. And I had most of their Christmas presents already purchased before we knew they would be heading home so soon. I tried to keep the Christmas gifts simple, which meant spoiling them with some special treats aka already purchased Christmas gifts before they left. This left us giving each of them two toys we knew they'd enjoy- Cars Memory game and Angry Birds game for Artichoke and two trucks for Zucchini. And they each got a Cinch Sac (love me some Thirty One) with their name embroidered filled with Christmas and winter themed books.

via Toys R Us
via Amazon

via Amazon
via Toys R Us
While I'm happy we can give them a few presents, it also seems weird to participate in their Christmas after no contact in a month and no expected contact in the future. I worry that they are starting to settle into their new chapter and I don't want presents from us to give them false hope we will be in their future or create any sadness from missing us.  But I also knew that if I didn't take advantage of this opportunity, I'd regret it.

I think these presents actually made Christmas harder for me this year because it is so partial. We aren't able to spoil them the way we had planned. Let me tell you it would have been an insane Christmas- complete with Santa visiting our house on Christmas Eve! And yet I have felt these presents hanging over me as the last thread that has been keeping us connected to them albeit in the vaguest way possible.

Today we the hubby delivered the presents to the social worker.  To be honest, I'm glad I wasn't there. I probably would have turned into a crying mess. From this point forward, there is no plan of contact and we aren't expecting any updates. This is the end.  This chapter is completely closed.

Now we can just hope for the best.

And hope they have some AA batteries for those trucks since I forgot to include them!


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