Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Is it what you expected?

I have been asked this question by quite a few people since welcoming Artichoke and Zucchini into our home six weeks ago.

The short answer?  No.

But I am always hesitant to actually say this in casual conversation since the short answer doesn't really explain why.  And I think most people would be surprised at the reasons.  So here's my chance to give you the long answer.

No, because the boys are awesome.  To be honest, I expect ill-mannered children who were not well behaved.  Artichoke and Zucchini have AMAZING manners.  Rarely do they not say "please" and "thank you".  And they always ask "May I...".  Really?  Who says "May I..."?  It is true that they are not always well-behaved, but are any 5 year olds and almost 2 year olds?  They definitely do not have the crazy behaviors that heard about in MAPP class.  And it is rare when we do not have a good behavior report from daycare.  They love to play with other children and are great a sharing and taking turns.

No, because we are still getting situated.  I completely underestimated all of the logistics we would have to work through in order to try to find our normal schedule.  I tried to do as much prep work as possible thinking that it would alleviate us running all over creation those first few weeks.  No such luck!  Our first month was filled with doctor visits, follow-up doctor visits, dental exam, haircuts, registering for daycare, registering for school, appealing for a school change, finding before/after care, re-registering for daycare, working on ABC's, working on 123's, WIC appointments, deciding on what activities to enroll the boys in, signing up for soccer, signing up for swim lessons, going to swim lessons, practicing for soccer, meetings with social workers, and more meetings with social workers.  Then there were the endless shopping trips to find the correct size of diaper, type of face wipes, size of clothes, size of hats, size of swimsuits, size of swim shoes, size for shoes, bins for shoes, markers for coloring, and paper for coloring.

No, because motherhood is not what I expected.  This by far as been the most shocking part.  I have always envisioned myself loving being a mom.  I'm not saying that there aren't moments when I don't enjoy this role- there definitely are.  But there are more moments than I expected that I am not enjoying.  Like when poop or pee is not contained in a diaper.  I. Just. Can't. Do. It.  Which makes me so thankful that the hubby can!  I have also always hoped to be a stay-at-home mom.  It always was my dream job and I envied my friends who get to stay home all day with their little ones.  Now?  I feel a huge sense of relief on Sunday night because that means I survived another weekend.  I get a break in the morning to talk about more than listening ears, cool cars and Angry Birds.  And I get to accomplish something all while playing with spreadsheets.  Yes, still a math geek at heart! This has made me so thankful for a job that I love, which is ironic because I always thought that would be something I would willing give up!  Ha!  Definitely not something I expected!

So no, this is not what we expected.  But I don't think I would trade it for the world!


1 comment:

  1. You summed it up so well! I can especially relate to your last paragraph. We've had our foster kids for a few months longer (and wow it's hard to believe you've already had them 6wks!!) but there are still those times where I wonder "what did we get ourselves into?" or if I was really cut out to be a mama. It is good to hear you say though that while it's not what you expected, you wouldn't trade it. Such a true statement... I just keep my eyes on why we're doing this... for the children!