Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Breaking the Silence- Part 2

If you missed the beginning of this story, check out Part 1 first.

From the beginning, we knew Butter Bean's case would be incredibly complicated. This is very rare to know so much about a child's case before they enter your home. Normally, you are lucky if you know both their full name and DOB. How we knew so much about this case is part of that 95% of the story that won't be told here. But in the first 2 months of the case, we were in court 5 times for adjudication hearings. Most of you probably won't understand how ludicrous and unusual this is.  When our foster parent/social worker friends hear this, their jaw normally falls to the floor. It was at one of those adjudication hearings that we were told Butter Bean could be "going home today" due to that fun technicality. After we advocated for Butter Bean to the dismay of some, certain unnamed parties got their act together and the technicality loophole was no longer available.  

After we survived those court dates, we thought the case was like a "normal" foster child case: we take care of the child while the parent(s) work the plan to get them back until the next court date when the next steps are decided. That was a complete rookie mistake. Nothing ever follows the "normal" path. And this was no exception. Then until "the incident", we were told that Butter Bean could be leaving at any point. They would try their best to give us 1-2 notice, but that might not be possible. Because of details I can't share, this development actually made us very happy because it was great for many people including Butter Bean. However, we grew increasingly bitter over the short notice. Especially as we waited month after month wondering if/when he'd be leaving our home.

And if that wasn't enough, Rudy was diagnosed with cancer. He had surgery and they were able to remove all of the cancer.  Now he is back to his normal life of constantly trying to convince you to go snuggle in the bed and believing every cardboard box that comes into our house is his new toy! 

Thankfully, we made the conscious decision to just keep living life and planning as if he'll be with us. We took a trip to the beach for my first Mother's Day weekend. It was an incredible trip and so amazing to actually be celebrating that day! We also went to the mountains over Memorial Day, where Butter Bean went swimming for the first time.  At first he wasn't so sure and then he LOVED it! We celebrated Father's Day with one of the hubby's favorite Southern dishes: chicken and waffles. And we had 4th of July gathering at our house complete with fireworks, which Butter Bean giggled at! But my favorite memory of all was Butter Bean's 1/2 Birthday party! Yes, we are *those* parents. It was a great day that was shared with so many people who have given us endless support and fully embraced Butter Bean.

Stay tuned for the Part 3 which explains "the incident".

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